Crush
by reaverattack
Summary: River has a crush! Post-OiS.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All hail Joss.

**A/N: **Here I go again. Another Rayne series. This is different than The Mouse because is lacks angst. It's similar because I don't have a plan for it. Read and review/rant!

* * *

River shrieked as she was thrown to the floor of the med bay. Simon and Kaylee stood above her, shocked. Jayne, too, towered over her. He looked ready to spit fire.

"If'n you don't keep her outta my gorram way, doc...!" He turned and left, not finishing the threat.

Simon knelt down and attempted to help her to her feet. "What did you do this time, _mei mei_?" River looked down at her bare feet. Simon now knew that most of Jayne's outbursts were cause by some fault of River's.

Kaylee came to her rescue. "Simon, you don't know she did anything."

"_Mei mei_?" Simon asked again, as if she was five, not seventeen.

River looked down again. "She may or may not have thrown his magazines out of the airlock."

Kaylee giggled and Simon just looked puzzled. "Jayne reads magazines?"

Kaylee giggled again. "No, Simon. His _magazines_. Ya know, his glossies."

"Oh... Oh!" River felt her eyes roll. top three percent indeed. She could scarcely imagine the stupidity of his classmates. "River why would you do that?"

"He would not participate in the seeking!"

"The seeking of what?" Simon was talking to her like she was a child again.

"The seeking!" He was so dense. "When we were small you would seek! I was rarely the seeker! Seek!"

"Hide and seek, _mei mei_?" She felt her face slip into a 'duh' expression. "Right. Well, River," Simon sat her down and Kaylee politely excused herself. "Jayne is a grown man. He doesn't want to play hide and seek. Just because someone doesn't want to play with you doesn't mean that you can destroy their property. Understand?"

River nodded and rolled her eyes. "_Wu dong_."

"Good. Do you want to go apologize to Jayne?"

"No." Leave it to her brother to suddenly think of Jayne as a human being.

"Will you do it anyway? For me?"

River grumbled to herself, but got up and proceeded out of the infirmary. "_Ben dun_... Rather play with ink and paper than the girl... Hope he gets hit by a transport..."

* * *

Kaylee was waiting outside the infirmary, grinning ear to ear. She couldn't believe that she couldn't see it earlier! And why didn't 'Nara tell her? 'Nara could always tell 'bout these sorta things. It was so shiny!

River sulked past and Kaylee stopped her. "Hey, Riv." River just stopped and tilted her head a bit. "If you wanna play with Jayne, maybe you could play something he likes. What about Tall Card?"

River beamed at her. "She thanks you for the advice!" River then skipped off.

Simon, her sweetie, came over and grabbed her hand. "Ain't it sweet, Simon?" she asked, now beaming, herself. "River's crush on Jayne?"

"She has a crush on him?"

"Mhmm."

"I was afraid of that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** No es mi programa.

* * *

Jayne swore an' punched the hull of the ship. Ain't he been through enough? Now the crazy girl had ta start followin' him around. He punched the hull again.

"Whoa! What the hell, Jayne?" Mal were lookin' at him with a strong glare. "What'd my ship ever do to you?"

Jayne turned to face Mal. "Sorry. Jus' angry is all."

"I can see that."

"Gorram _feng le_ girl won't leave me 'lone."

"_Ta ma de_! That ain't a reason to be puttin' holes in my ship! Besides, she's just pulling on your pigtails."

"M'what?" Jayne was pretty sure he didn't have no pigtails. Wait a sec- "Crazy's got a crush on me?"

Mal just sighed an' walked away.

Jayne smirked to hisself, con-tem-platin' this new turn of events. So, Moonbrain had a crush on 'im? He s'posed he could nudge this along fer a bit, mebbe git some trim. Even if not, it'd be all sorts of funny, an' the black got awful boring sometimes. Speak of the devil...

Here she comes, now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Jossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssss...

**A/N: **Finals are over! Finally! School's out for the summer...!

* * *

River skipped up to Jayne. "Hello."

"Hey there, Jellybrain." His voice sounded very sultry. Her stomach tingled. Odd.

"Hello, Jayne. Simon, er- I would like to apologize for my childish behavior. Disposing of your... your..."

"My girly mags?"

"Yes, _those_. It was uncalled for. I apologize. Now, I was wondering- What are you doing?"

Jayne proceeded to remove his shirt. River wasn't sure if he was deliberately removing his clothing so slowly or if was simply how he took his clothes off.

"M'just gittin' ready ta lift some weights. Keep talkin', Crazy, m'listinin'."

"Yes, well... She was just wondering if, um... he, erm, Jayne, she means. Er- no, you. Yes, you. She was wondering if you would play a game with her? Me?"

River's rambling was brought to a halt as Jayne straddled the weight bench and began lifting. The strain on his muscles allowed his veins to visibly poke out from his tanned skin. Her breath hitched. How did he lift so much? He was lifting three times more than she weighed. Wasn't he? How much did she weigh now? She wasn't sure anymore.

"Uh... Crazy girl?"

River snapped back to Jayne.

"Oh! She- I am sorry, Jayne. What was he- were you saying?"

Jayne smirked. "I was just sayin' I don't wanna play no little girl games with ya an' I thought I already told ya that."

"I can play other games!" River offered quickly. "He would not object to playing tall card?"

"What stakes?" He paused mid-lift, causing not just his arms, but his pecs and abs to flex. She was vaguely aware of her head tilting to the side. "Moony?"

"What? Stakes? Yes. Um..." River did not have anything worth betting. She did not have chores to wager or items she was willing to part with. Maybe she could borrow a few credits from Simon. He would unlikely notice their absence before she could replace them. Tall card was a game of chance. She could most likely predict the game's outcome and bet accordingly, preventing the loss of her _ge ge_'s money. "Credits. We can play for credits."

He smiled at her. Not a smile, really. More of a leer. It was probably meant as a smile. "Sounds like a game, Moonbrain. Meet ya in the galley after dinner."

"I will see you then, Jayne."

River exited the hold, leaving a half-naked Jayne behind to lift weights.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to Joss. I ain't him.

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long. Blame Dyce and the Horseshoe Nail Series. And work. And moving. Yeah...

* * *

River quickly ate her dinner of mashed protein, willing the end of the meal to come quickly. She nervously glanced at Simon, to her left, unreasonably nervous that he would just _know _about the wad of stolen credits in her pocket. She turned away when he looked at her. That was foolish. It made her appear guilty. She switched her attention to the right, Jayne.

He was slowly but methodically shoveling the mush into his open maw. River had to will her foot not to tap impatiently. She decided to speed things up by taking her plate to the sink. This triggered a reaction in the others to do the same, until only Jayne was left eating.

* * *

By the time Jayne was done eatin', it were only him and the _feng le _girl left in the room. He took a last bite an' shoved the plate across the table. She picked it up and started washin' it. Huh. Shiny trick. All he ta do was lead her on a bit an' she'd start doin' stuff fer him. He filed that away fer later an' turned to the crazy girl.

"You can do them dishes later, girl. Let's play."

* * *

River blushed as Jayne dealt the cards. She tried to calm herself. After all, it was only a small crush. Caused by a lack of other options, no doubt. This was Jayne Cobb. He was narcissistic and uncouth. He was a mother's boy and a misogynist. Once they were planet-side again, her crush would fade and Jayne would see another whore.

That was an unpleasant thought. Was it jealousy?

Hmmmm... It must be a side effect of the crush. As soon as this crush business was finished the better.

Why would River be interested in a man who only slept with ugly, cheap, smelly, old, stupid whores anyway? Hmph.

* * *

Jayne thought it was real funny how all he had ta do was smile at the _feng le _freak and she'd lose all of her genius smarts. Hell, he was whoopin' her ass at Tall Card. In fact, he'd just won all of her cashy money. Shiny.

"Please, Jayne, no!" River protested. "Perhaps a rematch? I cannot lose that money!"

Jayne snorted. "Shouln't bet whatcha can't lose."

"Jayne..."

He smirked to hisself as he stood up. "Oh well, girlie. S'pose I'll use this to buy s'more girlie mags. Mebbe some trim."

"No!" she shrieked. Gorram girl was actually jealous of a whore. "Jayne cannot have that money! It was not the girl's! Simon's! ...Stolen."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Ya stole this cash? From yer brother?" _Ye su_, she must really wanna be with him.

Crazy nodded. "Alright, hows about this, Moonbrain? I give ya back yer brother's platinum, if'n ya tell me why ya wanted so bad to play Tall Card with me. Deal?"

"I... I... Just wanted to play the game."

"Oh? S'that it?" She nodded, all worried-like. "Ya sure it ain't 'cuz yer crushin' on me?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **If I include a disclaimer, it's obviously not mine.

**A/N: **Wow. Two months. I kinda suck. Sorry, guys. I'm totally alive, by the way. Just had some good inspiration for my original stories and a bad case of procrastination. Wow. Here we go...

* * *

River's mouth opened and closed a few times of its own accord. How did he...? She peered into his mind and was offended and embarrassed at what she saw.

"He plans on using her!" she accused.

Jayne made an face somewhere between a smirk and a scowl. "Now, it wouldn't 'xactly be _usin'_. You'd be willin' enough and I'd treat ya good."

River's jaw dropped. She was surprised and horrified both that he would suggest such a thing, and that she found it to be tempting. But this was wrong! It was simply a trick of evolution!

"He... You're using her own biology against her!"

"Hey now, Crazy. Don't be like that, huh?" Jayne put both of his hands on her hips. He smiled down at her. A real smile. River liked his smile; it made his eyes crinkle. He should smile more often. River felt her own glare soften.

NO!

"Mad at you," she huffed before storming out, her throat and eyes burning.

* * *

Simon padded over to his sister's room when he heard her door slam. He hoped she wasn't having another fit. He softly opened her door to find her laying on the floor, a large blanket covering everything but her feet.

"Go away, Simon."

"_Mei mei_?" he asked as he knelt by her side. "What's wrong?"

"_Go. Away. _Mashang."

"I can't help until I know what's wrong. Did you have a flashback? Do you need a smoother?"

"The only prerequisite to peace is solitude and the absence of similar genetics!"

"Do you want me to go?"

River gave a dramatic sigh but was otherwise silent.

"Right." Simon nervously tugged on his ear. "Do you want me send in someone for you to talk to? Maybe Kaylee?"

"Sunshine?"

"What about the sun?"

No answer.

Simon turned to find Kaylee. He hoped she could make some sort of sense of this. He hoped River would talk to her. He hoped Kaylee would understand her. He hoped this wasn't as drastic as he was fearing.

Simon heard River begin to softly sob.

He hoped he could stop feeling so useless.


	6. Chapter 6

Simon sat across from Inara and Kaylee at the galley table, very aware of every noise, every movement, every breath. They looked at him calmly, as if burying their emotions. The ironic role reversal did not go unnoticed by him. They looked like doctors about to deliver bad news to a terminal patient's loved one.

"Well?" he prompted. "What did she tell you?"

Last night, Kaylee hadn't been sure of what River had been upset about and asked Inara to accompany her. After they had sufficiently questioned River, they had had told him that they were fairly certain of what had occurred to upset her so. Judging by the looks on their faces, it wasn't good.

Inara cleared her throat and shifted her weight in the chair. "I'm sure you are aware that River has developed feelings towards Jayne."

"Yes." This was not sounding good at all... "And she found out that he doesn't feel the same way?"

Kaylee answered. "Well, no, Simon, not really. He was actually a bit too friendly and River-"

As the implications dawned on him, Simon stood up and swore. "That no good _liumang_! What did he do to my sister?!"

"Nothing Simon!"

Simon was suddenly painfully aware that Jayne had few, if any, moral standards. The man likely had no qualms about taking advantage of a woman, a child really. A crazy child. If he touched her...

"Simon, sit down," Inara said. She was calm but the look in her eyes told him not to argue.

He sat and took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"Well," Kaylee began, "according to River, they was just playing a game."

"Tall card," said Inara.

"Right, an' when she lost, Jayne said she give her the credits back if she admitted she had a crush on him."

"Then he all but outright asked her for-"

"Sex," Kaylee finished.

Simon tugged on his ear. "Uh... She did say no, right?"

"Yes," Inara answered. "She seemed to be upset because she realized that sex was all he wanted from her."

"Oh," Kaylee added. "And the cash she lost was yours."


End file.
